“Stop talking so fast, idiot, you sound nervous!” – I thought, as I made my first ever TV pitch to a Senior Development Producer in London, last week, Monday 13 June.

I slowed down immediately, but by this time, I was so annoyed with my rookie mistake, that I started to stumble over my words.

Great start, Goldiing.

As my word-stumbling continued, I recalled how, ahead of this meeting, the Producer (let’s call him Jasper, Jasper sounds producery) revealed he only had ten-minutes to see me, so I suspected by now, out of sheer annoyance, he was thinking, “hhhhhhhhhmmmmmm….. pickle or jam sandwich for lunch?”

Fortunately, what I occasionally lack in composure, I make up for in sheer enthusiasm, so as time progressed, Jasper sat back in his massive beanbag (a bit cliché, but this TV channel has beanbags in the meeting space, not chairs), crossed his legs, asked questions, and with genuine interest, dissected my idea.

Throughout our chat, Jasper made it plain that one critical part of my pitch was incongruent with his channel and its existing output, but ultimately, ‘the pitch has a seed of something’ he offered.

Was he just saying that to soften the blow? I pondered.

He then said something that niggled me even more than my earlier hyper-speed talking,

“While I’m not entirely sure about this idea in its current form, your #100Musicians project… now that would have totally fit our brand.” Jasper conceded

“Oh good, thanks, would you like to buy the mobile phone footage I filmed?” I didn’t say.

Giving me his card and welcoming me to stay in touch, Jasper eased himself out of his beanbag, and with a sturdy handshake, was gone.

I remained seated in my beanbag for a few minutes to collect my thoughts. What happened next made me proud of me.

In my earlier years, I would have been crushed by Jasper’s lack of “Yep, amazing idea, let’s do it!”, but having learned the pattern of my life so far, I was nothing but optimistic. All of my big landmarks; be it my first commercial radio job, my first magazine column, my first big name music interview, my first time hosting a huge festival, my first online TV job… they all came after someone told me to “piss off’ and me deciding to not piss off. So, while Jasper was seemingly lukewarm about my idea, I had, yet again, embarked on my latest journey of stubbornly not pissing-off and eventually breaking through my target.

You see, my ultimate goal is to create/produce/present my own formats across large networks. I’m not interested in being a ‘presenter robot’ who turns-up, delivers lines, then goes home… no thanks, that’s not me… I want to devise my own unique formats: formats that resonate, engage and inspire audiences… and yes, obviously, I’ll be the handsome blonde presenting some of them.

Does this goal sound ludicrous? Maybe, but so did many goals I’ve set over the years, but I still went ahead and did them.

– Goldiing x

PS. Japser willingly gave me his card and welcomed me to stay in touch exactly thirty-four minutes after he told me he only had ten-minutes to see me. Maybe speed-talking-tosser wasn’t that annoying after all.